EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique
That's me in the photograph, the one all the way up there. I used to be scared of heights but as part of my Traumatology training I attended EFT training (Level 1 and Level 2) and I no longer worry about heights, or spiders actually (which was my other great fear).
Commonly referred to as "tapping", I use EFT with clients when we notice that they are stuck on their developmental journey. It might be working through emotions such as overwhelm, anxiety, anger - everyday unwanted emotions that become cognitive distortions that hold people back from time to time.
We also work together using EFT for maladaptive coping strategies - cravings, addictions. And we then establish more healthy self-care with self-compassion and optimism.
Curiously EFT supports the easing of pain, stiffness and discomfort. It's no surprise really, when we consider that tension, stress of everyday life manifests physically not only in panic attacks, but in tight shoulders, neck, hips, back - anywhere really. If you're not sure whether you believe it, have a look at Bessel Van de Kolk's findings in his book "The Body Keeps the Score".
I also use EFT with trauma clients. When we have trauma "stuck" in our body, the “danger” signal remains switched on, even though the event has passed and we are safe. We continue to suffer all the symptoms of being under threat, even though the danger is over. EFT can release the "stuckness" here too.
Say It Straight...
...one of the behaviours expected of employees of a well-known high street building society. Particularly helpful for those that are neurodivergent, making it easier for members to co-create success.
Yesterday I delivered a workshop for a group of workplace trainers - Empowering and Supporting Neurodivergent Learners. They seemed reluctant to speak plainly and keen to treat everyone the same. There was much discussion about how it would be perceived - rude, bullying possibly.
We worked through 3 work-based case studies and they came to realise that delivering a clear message, with empathy, with understanding is respectful and welcomed. The key is to approach the conversation with curiosity. We all need to be heard, so caveat direct questions with "so that I can understand this a bit better" and L I S T E N. Be quiet, internally (quieten the mind) and externally - focus on their words, their facial expressions and body language. This is not about waiting to respond, or delivering the solution with a smile, this is about being able to use their words and expressions to reflect on their feelings, their experiences and then co-producing success.
Everyone has a brain that works slightly differently, but the majority of us have a brain that functions best in this neurotypical world.
Let's use our direct and compassionate communication skills to develop our understanding of each other - our quirks and nuances, our loves and lives.
We're all learners - this workshop will widen perspective and understanding, to improve individual potential and team performance.
Coaching - what and why?
What is coaching?
It’s a creative, thought provoking process. A conversation, largely one sided where the coachee / client does most of the talking, that creates space for possibilities. The client is presented with the opportunity to think things through, learn more about themselves, their preferred ways of working, their avoidance behaviours and self-sabotage techniques. The coach stretches and challenges the client by asking them to consider ALL the options, the ones that feel uncomfortable, the ones that have been set aside as too hard.
Why engage in coaching?
Coaching conversations lead to change, they improve performance and potential. Coaching will help you to:
- Establish and take action towards achieving your goals
- Develop your problem solving, become more self-reliant
- Gain more job and life satisfaction
- Navigate change more confidently
- Improve your communication skills, your relationships, set your boundaries
- Take greater responsibility and accountability for actions and commitments
- Improve your focus, overcome personal obstacles
- Develop your self-compassion
Why engage in coaching with me?
I will support you to re-establish your sense of self, define success in your own words and wholeheartedly demonstrate your authenticity to achieve that success.
I’m a client-centred business coach, with over 25 years of experience across a variety of industries and disciplines, both private (internationally) and public sector. Focusing on change management and transformation at executive level, I learn from and coach some incredible people and teams to success.
Get in touch if you’d like to work with me too:
Embracing February: A Time for Self-Care and Reflection
February is a funny month. We've got January out of the way, it's lighter for longer, and we're starting to see some signs of spring. Yet, there's still that urge to hibernate. Yesterday, it felt like I had no choice - I spent the whole day in a windowless room. I was delivering training at a specialist critical care centre, a large hospital, conducting workshops for Consultants. We frequently spoke of wellbeing, self-care, and looking after ourselves and our colleagues when the working environment is harsh and the demands of the job are huge.
In our jobs, we are constantly looking for risks, the things that might go wrong. We write and review risk assessments, doing what we can to prevent mishaps. In life in general, looking for the bad stuff keeps us from harm – we look out for the shady character to give them a wide berth, we notice the danger of walking too close to the edge of the pavement. It’s natural. The brain filters out the stuff that we don’t need to worry about – the noise of the robin and the blackbird, the snowdrops poking through. It’s very easy not to notice that good stuff, beautiful stuff is happening all around us.
The good news is the neuroplasticity of the brain – we can train the brain to notice the positives too. Look for the good, note it down and reflect on it. I suggested to the Consultants yesterday that they use some time on their way home thinking about three good things that have happened during their shift. And then, rather than walking in through the door, complaining about the working environment to their significant other, they can enthuse about their wonderful day at work.
Dr. Alan Watkins (Complete Coherence) talks about boosting our deposits, our energy levels by doing more of the activities that we love and doing less of the activities that deplete us. Who says that we have to iron for example? Imagine how much of the world’s energy could be saved if we all stopped ironing? If you like ironing, find it therapeutic, carry on. But I’d rather use the time to be out walking, or reading a book. What activities do you do, perhaps out of habit, or a sense of duty, that you don’t want or need to do really? What will you use that time for instead?
February, the days are getting longer, there are shoots on the trees and bushes, signs of spring. But the weather continues to be grey, murky, and damp. Now is a good time to remind ourselves of the importance of self-care.
I hope you find this helpful! If you want more information about wellbeing workshops or about 1:1 wellbeing coaching, feel free to get in touch.
Leadership - not easy
Somebody must first come up with a goal, the steps to get there – a bit like a route map to a destination. And everyone must know the destination and understand the route map, the part they play. Everyone must agree on a clear, united approach to using resources available in the most effective way.
Leadership involves behaviours and words that encourage, reassure, recognise, demonstrate, inspire, measure, feedback, communicate. What does that mean in practice? Start by establishing priorities: The Eisenhower Matrix: Introduction & 3-Minute Video Tutorial
Bring the team together on the objective, the plan to get there – encourage people to consider the priorities, to have their say. Listen to the feedback, adjust the plan, refine, publish the milestones and take the first step.
Along the way communicate – frequently, widely and clearly. Celebrate the successes, the milestones hit (the deliveries, the clients, the revenue), the unexpected praise and awards, share the challenges (the mistakes, the apologies), absorb the setbacks (the adjustments, the plan b’s, the unexpected) – create a safe space for acknowledging difficulties, for sharing best practice, for supporting efforts.
Help people do their best in their role by giving them permission - a voice, the responsibility, the authority, to take control of the elements that apply to them, encourage confidence and can do.